short update

i haven't written anything here in a very long time. so many life changes have happen that a personal blog gets put off until another day.
do i enjoy being with the sub i have been with for about the last nine months. i would say the answer is yes. its has been a process at times and at my fault i allowed myself to not stay true to form as a Dominate all the time. when she sees that I'm not in that role (as a Dom) she tends to want to push my buttons a little more. is she still a overall good sub...yes. does she still have a way to go.....yes.
recently we were together and i did something to her that i have never did before. before i state what i did i want you to know that for me in this lifestyle. I'm not always "out for myself". there are things i do solely knowing it would bring pleasure to her. well what i did was "tossed her salad" it wasn't a long in depth session but she got the point and the pleasure from it. she reacted like i thought she would. she had the look on her face like wow i wouldn't mind this more often. its like when i first sucked her toes. she never expected that to happen. then one day when i held her legs high up and open and while being inside her......i started sucking on her big toe. after about a minute i thought she was about to explode with an orgasm. she really enjoyed unexpected things of that nature.
but i will add as a downfall on that same day. she refuse to open herself up for me to do her in her a**hole. mind you I'm not a really big fan of it but it does add to a lever of control. she has stated to me so many times in the past how much she loves it. so after the salad tossing i proceeded to enter her in that same spot. she bucked and move side to side moving me to avoid me from entering her. hm mm i thought to myself why now is it that she acting this way. she said it hurts. but how could it hurt i didn't even get the head of it in. the more i tried the more she moved away. now i was getting a bit pissed.
then as a flashback i reminded myself of how she went through some things that were forced on her in her past and it was a negative experience. so i thought maybe what i was doing was giving her a flashback. so i stopped but wait another thought accrued to me.
you see on my way to her house i told her that i was planning to be inside her a**. so she knew that would have been my intentions. she never mention then if she didn't want to do it. so now i wonder. was somebody else recently in it and she is a bit sore there from that? hmm i wonder... well i may never know the answer to that question. another thought just happen. she had made arrangement prior to have driving lessons. and that days lesson was to begin at 1:00. i informed her that i should be there close to noon and that she should not worry about the appt i would be gone in time for her to go. but later while relaxing after she rode on top of me i was informed that "he called and cancelled the appt until 4:00 pm. now that possible but within the 15 Min's she told me what time the appt was and my arrival. she didn't mention it. did i mess up her plans for her secret lover to come by and see her. remind you that during the drive she asked me maybe i couldn't come see her and that maybe i should turn around and go back home. hm mm again.
so what you think??????